i never had the opportunity to meet you, but i've seen you around and you always had an absolutely gorgeous smile to share, and, from what i heard you've always been able to light up anyone's day and were just such a genuinely nice young woman. i hope you're in a better place now, and up in heaven can see how many people love you , care for you , and miss you.
to everyone who has been affected by this tragic event - Kia Kaha. we need to stand strong for each other and for Olivia now. lets live life just that little bit better for her and her family and friends. my heart goes out to you all.

Rest In Peace Olivia Rutherford. xO

i managed to put you out of my mind all summer. not thinking of you must have tricked my heart into thinking that i was over you. i was happy. i thought, finally and smiled. then i see you. shit. turns out im not over you at all. not over your smile. the way you look. smell. touch. how it feels when you hug me. talking to you. lying next to you. just being with you. how you try to be all butch. but really. i know that deep down. all you want is for someone to just need you. to love you. the problem with that is. i gave that to you. but you didnt know what to do when i did. its like even that wasnt enough for you. like having one person want you, need you, love you. more than anything else. wasnt enough. i dont understand that. never will probably. but thats just you. im not over you yet. but thats just life i guess. and in life. well.

shit happens.

so.

reading some of the posts i've made i realise how dumb they are but i ain't gonna delete them because that's how i felt at the time and even though i don't want to ever feel some of that stuff again i still  want to remember.