i just need to know where i stand with you ... please ?

its only two weeks. but its two weeks of holidays. where you'll being hanging out with other people and having an awesome time. yes, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. and of course i want to go. i just dont want everything to change. i know i have to prepare myself for the worst but its hard to. i dont want you to go anywhere. just want you here when i get back. like i didnt even go. maybe even better than now, before i go that is. please. dont come and go. just stay. i miss you when you're not here. and when im with you i dont want you to leave. im just scared. that when im gone you'll find someone. someone else. and that when i get back everything will be different. after the weekend. i duno. i just feel like something's there. something that i shouldnt give up on. no, something that we shouldnt give up on. and its really scaring me. thinking about how it all might be different when i get back. its only two weeks. but its over two weeks of not seeing you. not even talking to you. just so you know, ill be thinking about you. every time i look at the stars ill think of you and how the stars amaze you. i just hope you'll be thinking of me too.     =/

“I have noticed that if you look carefully at people’s eyes 
the first five seconds they look at you, 
the truth of their feelings will shine through 
for just an instant before it flickers away."
 - The Secret Life Of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)

i dont know how to explain this feeling. boy you got me so loved up. so crazy over you.
i dont know. i love it but boy you scare me. how can you have this much power over me ?
im scared to let myself go. let me love and be loved. cause who knows what will happen.
i guess thats the exciting bit of it too. the not knowing that is. but mostly for me. its scary.
i dont know if ill get hurt again. i need to trust you. and that aint gonna happen automatically.
you. you gotta earn my trust. and please do. cause i wanna trust you more than anything.
i dont just want you though. i want us. you and i. me and you. but we'll see. im just full of this thing called

HOPE.

<3

today has so far been a very good day :) . .


 - less than one week to go. this time next week i will be on my way to , maybe in singapore , on my way to Nepal :)  i seriously am so amazingly excited its crazy. but really scared at the same time. guess its  the unknown that scares me the most. not knowing what to expect. not knowing if ill get sick  or not. i duno , its just makes me really nervous. still super excited though ! ahhh xD

 - it's official (well semi-official) , i, Tess Alexandra Wolfreys am the captain of the WGC 1st XI Football team for 2O11 :) . . tehe pretty happy to be honest.

Life's not always fair.
Sometimes you can get a splinter,
even sliding down a rainbow.

-Terri Guillemets

when one door of happiness closes,
another opens, often we look so long
at the closed door that we do not see
the one that has been opened for us.
-Helen Keller

to be honest i really just dont give a shit anymore. ive waited round way too long for you to care when you start being a dick again. when its good its good but then i see you. and one week after it was all so 'good' its absolute shit. seriously bro , sort out what you want in life ae, coz you've pretty much lost me already. i duno , it just seems like you couldnt care less. and to be quite frank, i do care. but ill be over it soon enough. i mean seriously , it just doesnt matter to me anymore , coz i need i guy who treats me good. and , well . . . i can play the ukelele xD