miss this <3
22.5.11
18.5.11
Staying home alone on a Friday
Flat on the floor looking back
On old love
Or lack thereof
After all the crushes are faded
And all my wishful thinking was wrong
I'm jaded
I hate it
I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
Get here
Searching all my days just to find you
I'm not sure who I'm looking for
I'll know it
When I see you
Until then, I'll hide in my bedroom
Staying up all night just to write
A love song for no one
I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?
Oh no way
I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?
I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
I'm so tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here oh yeah
I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
I'm so tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
You'll be so good
You'll be so good for me
Flat on the floor looking back
On old love
Or lack thereof
After all the crushes are faded
And all my wishful thinking was wrong
I'm jaded
I hate it
I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
Get here
Searching all my days just to find you
I'm not sure who I'm looking for
I'll know it
When I see you
Until then, I'll hide in my bedroom
Staying up all night just to write
A love song for no one
I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?
Oh no way
I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?
I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
I'm so tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here oh yeah
I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
I'm so tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
You'll be so good
You'll be so good for me
Face to face and heart to heart We're so close yet so far apart I close my eyes I look away That's just because I'm not okay But I hold on I stay strong Wondering if we still belong Will we ever say the words we're feeling Deep down underneath it Tear down all the walls Will we ever have a happy ending Or will we forever only be pretending We will always be pretending How long do I fantasize Make believe that it's still alive Imagine that I am good enough If we can choose the ones we love But I hold on I stay strong Wondering if we still belong Will we ever say the words we're feeling Deep down underneath it Tear down all the walls Will we ever have a happy ending Or will we forever only be pretending Will we (oh oh) always (oh oh) be keeping secrets safe Every move we make Seems like nowhere's safe to go And it's such a shame Cause if you feel the same How am I supposed to know Will we ever say the words we're feeling Deep down underneath it Tear down all the walls Will we ever have a happy ending Or will we forever only be pretending Will we (oh oh) always (oh oh) be pretending
17.5.11
the first person who is on your mind when you wake up from a deep sleep is either the reason of your happiness or the reason of your pain . .
or both.
fuck. your so confusing. just somehow let me know what your thinking. what your feeling. anything about us. please ? just let me know. i really do like you. but im scared cause i feel like it's fading. like it might go if you dont give me a sign. a hint. anything ? seriously, on saturday night i thought that was it. but you havent texted me since. maybe i should text you first i dont know. its too confusing. almost. i just really like you and i dont wanna let myself let you go. not yet anyway. i still like you way too much. but if that fades too much then im not going to be able to stop myself letting you go. everytime somebody mentions you i cant help but smile. no matter how bad of a mood im in. this is what you do to me. and i dont want it to stop. please. dont let it stop ?
14.5.11
7.5.11
i have been putting off writing this post as there really are absolutely no words to describe my two ish weeks in Nepal. i have tried and tried but i cannot seem to explain to anyone how amazing my time was. it was a completely life changing experience but not in any ways that i would be able to show or describe to anyone, and trust me - ive tried.
and now, being back ive gone back to being unhappy and lonely. im not enjoying school and im as lonely as ive ever been. im jealous of my close friends who have boyfriends and girlfriends and are genuinely happy. it seems that the only thing that makes me really happy at the moment is football, which is awesome since its been over 5 months since i was injured and im finally able to train and play again. but that doesnt take up much time at all. last term i really started to enjoy school, now - after travelling to such an amazing country - i hate it. all i can think about is my plans for next year and planning what im going to study at uni the year after. i cant seem to motivate myself to do the work i need to do, i sit in class sleeping and listening to my ipod and i dont know what to do to change it. the worst part of it is the massive whole in my chest. im so lonely, after spending every day surrounded by people im hating being back in such quiet. and to make it that much worse, a lot of my really close friends have boyfriends or girlfriends and i havent heard anything from the guy i like even though things seemed to be going pretty well before i left. i duno what to do ae , i cant help wanting a boyfriend but i really do. i just want to feel like somebody needs me, like somebody loves me. somebdy other than my family and friends. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr it makes so pissed off with myself which makes me feel even worse. anyway, im really looking forward to football training on monday which is good and im in the set team for stage challenge which is also rather exciting :). forever trying to be the optimist huh.
and now, being back ive gone back to being unhappy and lonely. im not enjoying school and im as lonely as ive ever been. im jealous of my close friends who have boyfriends and girlfriends and are genuinely happy. it seems that the only thing that makes me really happy at the moment is football, which is awesome since its been over 5 months since i was injured and im finally able to train and play again. but that doesnt take up much time at all. last term i really started to enjoy school, now - after travelling to such an amazing country - i hate it. all i can think about is my plans for next year and planning what im going to study at uni the year after. i cant seem to motivate myself to do the work i need to do, i sit in class sleeping and listening to my ipod and i dont know what to do to change it. the worst part of it is the massive whole in my chest. im so lonely, after spending every day surrounded by people im hating being back in such quiet. and to make it that much worse, a lot of my really close friends have boyfriends or girlfriends and i havent heard anything from the guy i like even though things seemed to be going pretty well before i left. i duno what to do ae , i cant help wanting a boyfriend but i really do. i just want to feel like somebody needs me, like somebody loves me. somebdy other than my family and friends. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr it makes so pissed off with myself which makes me feel even worse. anyway, im really looking forward to football training on monday which is good and im in the set team for stage challenge which is also rather exciting :). forever trying to be the optimist huh.
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