2O1O is coming to an end and to be perfectly honest i dont know what to say. it truely has been a rollercoaster year. full of a lot of downs and a few ups which amazingly override all the shit stuff that happened.

yes, i got three injuries, one of which still hasnt hardly healed and its been  a month. i didnt get sports captain , or into under 2Os. we didnt do as well as we should've at nationals , and my brother finalised his plans to leave next year. i didnt do as well at school as i'd hoped, and i felt more lonely than i ever have.

but, i met some fuckin awesome people, one of whom is extra amazing. my sister came home from overseas, and i went to homegrown which was to say the least , epic. i at least got into sports committee, and finally got over the jerk i will forever have to call my first love.

2O1O was for me the year of lots of good little things shining through the bad big things. little things such as .. getting cute texts from somebody who means more to me than i ever though they would. having my whole family under the same roof for the first time in what seems like forever. d&m's with ilybffl's. movie dates , starbees dates , and shopping dates with my girls.

LATE 2O1O !

BRING ON 2O11 ! - i hope its a year full of crazy awesome people and epic times !

You're not alone Together we stand I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand When it gets cold And it feels like the end There's no place to go You know I won't give in No I won't give in Keep holding on 'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through Just stay strong 'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you There's nothing you could say Nothing you could do There's no other way when it comes to the truth So keep holding on 'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through So far away I wish you were here Before it's too late, this could all disappear Before the doors close And it comes to an end With you by my side I will fight and defend I'll fight and defend Yeah, yeah Keep holding on 'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through Just stay strong 'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you There's nothing you could say Nothing you could do There's no other way when it comes to the truth So keep holding on 'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through Hear me when I say, when I say I believe Nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah La da da da La da da da La da da da da da da da da Keep holding on 'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through Just stay strong 'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you There's nothing you could say Nothing you could do There's no other way when it comes to the truth So keep holding on 'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through Keep holding on Keep holding on There's nothing you could say Nothing you could do There's no other way when it comes to the truth So keep holding on 'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Dear Baby Jebus ,

the happiest of birthdays to you [for tomorrow] !

Love Tess xx

never give up

on someone

you can't go a day

wtihout thinking about

for some reason

i cant give up on this little glimmer of hope

trust me i wish i could just let it go

but i just cant seem to

you never leave my mind

and i never want you to leave my life

i thought i hadn't kept my hopes up.
i thought i wasn't in this far.
but baby its like you threw me in the deep end
    without teaching me how to swim.

you know , ive never done that before. told a guy i liked them before i knew if they liked me back. now i feel like a fool. maybe you'll never know this but i thought you were him , the guy who would fall for me as i fell for him. you'll probably never know this but you are the first guy i've actually liked since that douchebag. liked in the 'storm of butterflies in my stomach whenever i see you' sort of way. in the 'the sound of your name makes my heart do a double take' sort of way. in the 'you make my life a shitload better' sort of way. and im not gonna lie it scared me more than you can imagine. the way you make me feel that is. but now , now i just feel stupid. i cant believe i honestly thought that something would actually happen between us. i guess crap things dont stop after the third like i thought they would. it seems like they're just gonna keep on coming but i dno if i could handle that.

11:11 make a wish

pleasenomoreineedsomegoodandhappyformyself

If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea , I'll sail the world to find you If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can't see , I'll be the light to guide you Find out what we're made of When we are called to help our friends in need You can count on me like 1 2 3 I'll be there And I know when I need it I can count on you like 4 3 2 And you'll be there Cause that's what  friends are supposed to do , oh yeah Wooooh , Wooooh Yeah , Yeah If you toss and you turn and you just can't fall asleep I'll sing a song Beside you And if you ever forget how much you really mean to me Everyday I will Remind you Ohh Find out what we're made of When we are called to help our friends in need You can count on me like 1 2 3 I'll be there And I know when I need it I can count on you like 4 3 2 You'll be there Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah Wooooh , Wooooh Yeah , Yeah You'll always have my shoulder when you cry I'll never let go Never say goodbye You can count on me like 1 2 3 I'll be there And I know when I need it I can count on you like 4 3 2 You'll be there Cause that's what friends are supposed to do , oh yeah Wooooh , Wooooh

You can count on me cos' I can count on you     

i'm not saying i've given up on you , on the thought of us , cause i haven't , not one little bit.

i'm just saying that too many times i've gotten my hopes up. waited round for some guy only to end up crying myself to sleep when i realise that it'll never happen. too many times i've worn my heart on my sleeve just to have it thrown to the ground and trodden on , smashed into a thousand little pieces.

a girls' heart is a fragile thing you know. i just need to be able to trust that you wont hurt it before i give it to you. cause i dont know if i'll be able to put it back together if it gets broken or even merely cracked again.

nobody deserves this
I hardly know you but I do know that you are amazing
whenever I see you I can't help but smile
and
the thought of spending time with you makes my heart flip
I do know that if I was in your position all I'd want is for somebody to hold me in their arms and I just want you to know that if you need absolutley anything I'm here.
I don't know much about you but I do know that you don't deserve to have to go through this on your own. whatever you need. anytime. I'll always be here. xo

i don't know

i dont know what to say  

there are no words

to describe this feeling 

my mind is blank

blank for the first time 

im scared

boy  

how do you do this to me

your eyes  

your smile

your laugh  

your walk

i hardly know you  

yet

you make my heart soar 

 "youhadmefromthedayyousmiled"